There it is again, that horrible sinking feeling in his gut that's reared its ugly head every single time their conversations take a downward turn. It sits heavily in his stomach, twists him up inside till he feels like he's gonna be sick. How did things come to this? How did they reach the point where just being in the same room together inevitably broke one of them down?
Ford wishes he knew. He wishes he knew how to fix it, to backpedal and erase whatever steps they took that lead them to this point. But then, wishing doesn't do a damn thing to make anything better, and neither does standing there like a jackass because - big surprise - he's no more prepared to handle this situation than he was the last time it happened.
He doesn't know what to do and he hates it, because he always knows what to do. He's the smart one, the brainaic, the older brother. He's supposed to be able to make everything better but he can't because there's just no fixing this.
"...Stan?"
He finds himself taking a halting step forward, unsure what he plans to do once he reaches Stan, but feeling compelled to go to him all the same.
"You--you don't actually think any of this is your fault, do you?"
He swallows, dreading the answer despite already knowing full well what it is.
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Ford wishes he knew. He wishes he knew how to fix it, to backpedal and erase whatever steps they took that lead them to this point. But then, wishing doesn't do a damn thing to make anything better, and neither does standing there like a jackass because - big surprise - he's no more prepared to handle this situation than he was the last time it happened.
He doesn't know what to do and he hates it, because he always knows what to do. He's the smart one, the brainaic, the older brother. He's supposed to be able to make everything better but he can't because there's just no fixing this.
"...Stan?"
He finds himself taking a halting step forward, unsure what he plans to do once he reaches Stan, but feeling compelled to go to him all the same.
"You--you don't actually think any of this is your fault, do you?"
He swallows, dreading the answer despite already knowing full well what it is.