Ah jeez. Ford knew this question was coming eventually, but that doesn't mean he's prepared for it now that it's finally being asked. Rather than answer straight away, he stalls for time by taking a slow drink of his coffee.

"That's probably for the best. Susan's not much of a gossip, but in a small town like this, news travels fast."

He tries to smooth down his hair even so, despite knowing full well that it won't do much to hide the angry red line at the back of his head.

"And a story like this...well, nothing out of the ordinary ever happens in Gravity falls." He takes another drink of his coffee, not to help keep himself awake, but to wash the bitter irony of his words out of his mouth.