goodguygrifter ([personal profile] goodguygrifter) wrote2015-11-21 10:11 pm
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Well, Stan's been crammed deeper up the ass end of nowhere before, but that doesn't mean that creeping, uneasy feeling doesn't get worse the deeper he gets into this damn forest. It's dark, it's spooky, it's -

It's exactly like the kind of forest you used to see in those old monster movies, actually. The kind he and Ford used to sit in front of, enraptured, arguing over how many pieces the monster of the week was going to tear the ditzy teenage protagonist into.

Maybe it's not the forest that's giving him such a bad case of the heebie jeebies. He can admit that to himself now that he's almost there. His car rolls to a stop and he sits there while the engine ticks cool with his hands still in their old, familiar grips on the wheel. He gets out. He shuts the door.

"No problem," he mutters to himself, watching the door of that weird, creepy little cabin like he really is in one of those old movies and something's about to jump out and grab him. "It's only been nine years. And ten months. And fourteen days. And he doesn't even want you here. That's no, no reason to, to uh..." 

The doorknob of that weird, creepy little cabin door is under his hand. If his hand moves a couple more inches,  he'll open it. He'll open the door, and then he'll -

You'll what? he thinks to himself. You'll what, genius?

"Aw, shit," Stanley says, and takes one step back, and then another, still looking at the door like it's about to bite him.

sixfingerednerd: (It's me Dip Dop)

[personal profile] sixfingerednerd 2016-04-12 03:59 am (UTC)(link)
Ford doesn't open his eyes when he feels the mattress sink in next to him, he doesn't open them when Stan starts talking, trying to be positive and reassuring. He keeps them closed, right up until he feels that nudge to his shoulder. Then he blinks them open, tries and fails to fight off a weak smile, and turns his head just enough to look up at his brother.

"We're not eight anymore, Stanley. I don't need you beating people up for me." He says gently, with a note of fondness in his tone. "Believe me, if I could do it myself, I would."

He pauses, thinking over what he just said, and what Stanley meant. He realizes that he might have just come across as dismissive, like he doesn't even want his brother's help and feels offended that he even offered. He's quick to correct this potential slip up by adding, quickly:

"Not that I don't appreciate the sentiment. God knows I'd pay just about anything to see that one-eyed psychopath get taken down a peg or two. Or twelve."
sixfingerednerd: (Why do I have feelings)

[personal profile] sixfingerednerd 2016-04-16 05:50 am (UTC)(link)
He knew this question was coming, eventually. He knew it was only a matter of time before the need to know overpowered his brother's self-restraint and prompted him to ask something he knew he didn't want to talk about.

Well, the time's finally come, and Ford's no more prepared to deal with it now than he was when the thought first came to mind.

"Just the one." He admits carefully, after a brief moment of hesitation.

He moves to take off his glasses, just to give himself an excuse to not elaborate for a few moments longer. He examines the lenses, holds them up to the light, then breathes a puff of air onto them to fog them up so he can wipe away a few smudges with his sleeve.

The gesture is completely without point, since he doesn't even put them back on once he's finished - instead he sits up, gingerly, and sets them on the nightstand next to the bed. After that, he shrugs off his coat, instinct prompting him to move a hand to his neck to hide the scarring no longer covered by his collar.

"Most of what I know, I never wrote down. It's all up here." He admits, before reaching up to tap two fingers against his temple. His hand falls heavily to his lap a moment later, as does his gaze.

"Probably for the best, really. The last thing I want is for you to wind up trying to summon the bastard just to take a swing at him."

Which, he's not going to lie, sounds exactly like something Stanley would do.
sixfingerednerd: (THE GUILT)

[personal profile] sixfingerednerd 2016-04-18 11:06 pm (UTC)(link)
If Ford has one weakness - aside from validation - it's hearing his brother say that one little word that he never says unless he means it. It makes Ford's stomach twist a little, hearing that, knowing even after everything his brother still wants so desperately to help him.

It makes Ford feel a little sick, actually. A little sick, and a little irrationally angry because his brother has no right to be so goddamn forgiving, so quick to push everything aside and ask how he can help, when Ford hasn't done the same for him in...in a while. In a long while.

Sighing roughly, Ford drops his hand from his neck and into his lap where it joins its twin. He plays absently with a lose thread on the end of his sleeve, rolling it into a little ball then unraveling it, just so he has something to look at other than Stan.

"It's not that I don't trust you, Stan. I'm not...this isn't me trying to shut you out, this is me trying to keep you safe."

The words sound hollow even to his own ears, and Ford shakes his head, a rueful smile tugging up the corner of his mouth.

"No, it's not even about that. Not entirely, anyway. I just. I don't -" He cuts himself off, shaking his head as he abandons that sentence and tries again.

"We're you ever afraid, on the way here? Afraid that I'd...that I'd look at you differently?" He gnaws at his lip, tugging a little harder on that thread to test its strength, see if it'll snap.

"Did you ever worry that I'd...I'd find out something about you, something you never wanted me to know, and that I'd think less of you for it?"
sixfingerednerd: (THE GUILT)

[personal profile] sixfingerednerd 2016-04-24 01:05 am (UTC)(link)
The sound Ford makes, it's not a laugh, not really. It sounds kinda like one, his mouth even twists up into a sort-of smile, but there's no real humor in it. If Stan pays real close attention he might notice the way Ford breathes a little funny right before he makes that sound, might notice the way he ducks his head and swipes at his eyes with his thumb real quick-like.

"Well." He lets out another laugh-like sound, though this one is a bit closer to the genuine article. There's actually some humor in it, but its the rueful sort. "How about that."

He can't make Stan think poorly of him no matter what he does, it seems like. Even after - after all the shit he probably went through these past ten years, all the things that never would have happened if Ford had just gone after him, or tried talking their Father out of doing what he did, or - or something. Anything. If he had done anything at all, maybe he'd deserve Stan's undying loyalty. Maybe he'd feel like he had done something to earn having his brother here, having someone who still thinks the world of him despite all he's done.

Ford rubs absently at his mouth, feels the half-healed split in his lip from all his nervous chewing. Reluctant though he is to tell Stan the truth - the whole of it - he knows his brother is owed an explanation. He's owed it, he's owed that much.

"...Remember what I said earlier about nearly ending the world?" He asks, his voice quiet, guilt-heavy. "I wasn't joking. You didn't hear me incorrectly. That - that actually happened. I almost did that."
sixfingerednerd: (Regrets are many)

[personal profile] sixfingerednerd 2016-04-28 02:00 am (UTC)(link)
Somehow, Stan always seems to know - without having to even think about it - how to make him feel better when he's down. Ford envies that, envies how easy he makes it look to be a good brother. He wishes that sort of thing came half as easy to him.

When Stan moves closer, makes that little offhanded joke, Ford can't help but smile a little despite himself. He still feels like shit, he can't not considering the circumstances, but it's nice to have someone in close proximity like this, telling him bad jokes to lighten his mood a little.

He leans a bit to the side for no real reason, just because he can, really, and hopes Stan doesn't read too much into how their shoulder's touch. It's just - it's a tired, thing, not a comfort thing. Yeah. A tired thing.

"He came to me in a dream." He begins, knowing full well how crazy that sounds out loud. "He told me he was a muse, and like a fool I believed him."

If he sounds bitter about that, bitter and ashamed and more than a little hurt, it's because he is.

"Not that I'm the first idiot to be tricked by Bill. He's been doing this for centuries, maybe for as long as humankind has existed. He's been in this game for a long time, Stan. A long time."

Somehow, that thought doesn't make him feel much better. Sure, it's somewhat comforting to know he's not the only person who bought the lies Bill sold them, but even so. He feels he should have known better, feels there were signs that he missed, things he ignored because he didn't want to believe that Bill was anything other than a friend.

"...I wanted to do something great. I wanted to change the world and make it a better place. Bill said he could help, and I believed him. I believed every word."

He pauses, teeth scraping along his bottom lip as he bites back a sardonic smile.

"And why wouldn't I? He was my friend. I trusted him. God, I trusted him so much, and the whole time he was just, he used me and he-"

Ford stops abruptly, cutting himself off with a rough sigh. He closes his eyes, taking a moment to drag in a steadying breath as he rubs tiredly at his bruised-looking eyes.
Edited 2016-04-28 02:02 (UTC)
sixfingerednerd: (Aw jeez)

[personal profile] sixfingerednerd 2016-05-04 09:42 pm (UTC)(link)
And he'll regret it.

Ford's not sure why he fixates on that part, why when he rolls them around inside his head the words kinda feel like a promise, like they've got certainty to them. The way Stan says it, he's not just telling Ford what he wants to hear. The way he says it, he sounds like he can actually make it happen.

Ford's never thought there was anything his brother couldn't do if he set his mind to it before, and he sees no reason to start now. If Stan says he's going to do something, that he's going to make something happen - well, that's really all the convincing Ford needs to believe it's even possible.

"He want's a lot of things, Stanley. Megalomaniacs usually do. Bill - it's not just one thing he wants, it's everything. Our entire world, control over all reality as we know it - he wants all of it. Total world domination is at the top of his list, though I imagine having my head on a pike is a close second."

He can't help but grimace, his hand moving to rub absently at his throat. He wonder if that's going to be his ultimate fate, becoming another disembodied, eternally-screaming head for Bill to pull out of the void as part of the world's most demented parlor trick.
sixfingerednerd: (It's me Dip Dop)

[personal profile] sixfingerednerd 2016-05-11 03:33 am (UTC)(link)
Ford is the very last person who would call Stan out on those little circles he's moving his hand in - partly because that's just something that's too embarrassing for either of them to verbally acknowledge, and partly because the most awful, snort-laugh bursts out of him and renders him incapable of speech. He slaps a hand over his eyes, his shoulders shaking as he kicks out a few tired chuckles that don't even bother to mute themselves. Normally he'd make more of an effort to pretend like that sort of humor doesn't amuse him, but - well, this is Stan he's dealing with, not some pretentious yuppie who'll look down on him for getting a kick out of a lowbrow joke.

"A better question is who would even believe you?" He tries to wipe the grin off his face, but it stays stubbornly in place despite his best efforts to reign it in. He shakes his head, his eyes falling shut a moment as he lets out one last amused huff, before looking back to Stan, his expression a touch more sober.

"I'm not even sure you'll believe it, and you've just survived an encounter with a homicidal, shape-changing, extra-terrestrial life-form of unknown origin."
sixfingerednerd: (Aw jeez)

[personal profile] sixfingerednerd 2016-05-17 03:18 pm (UTC)(link)
Ford is damn certain that if he gnaws on the inside of his cheek any more, he's going to draw blood. He keeps doing it anyway, though, because it's a little less obvious than chewing on his lip, and he really doesn't want Stan to know how hard it is for him to think all of this over without looking as anxious as he feels.

He's only quite for a few seconds (though it feels much longer than that) before he takes in a deep breath through his nose and releases it through his mouth. He's gotta psyche himself up for this - there's no way Stan won't look at him like a goddamn idiot after he tells him, he knows that, he's convinced of that, but at least he can prepare himself for it since he knows its coming.

"...Do you remember when we were kids, and I used to make you watch all those cheesy sci-fi movies about time travel and parallel universes?"
sixfingerednerd: (no that's dumb)

[personal profile] sixfingerednerd 2016-05-22 11:43 pm (UTC)(link)
This time, Ford doesn't laugh. Years ago, when life hadn't yet kicked him down a flight of stairs, he would have giggled like the child he had been and then punched Stan in the arm for interrupting right when they were about to get to the best part.

Only, he's not so young anymore, not so bright eyed, and the part he's about to get to is hardly what he would consider "the best."

"The kind that inspired the Eye of Providence, actually." He replies dryly, before forcing a weak little smile for Stan's benefit. He might not be able to laugh for him, but he can at least do this.

"...And yes, you really should be picturing a cycloptic triangle right now. I'm not just saying that to be cute."
sixfingerednerd: (THE GUILT)

[personal profile] sixfingerednerd 2016-05-30 12:39 am (UTC)(link)
"Both." Ford replies flatly, before glancing away briefly to look down at his hands. God, but he really needs to stop biting his nails. Out of all his stress-induced bad habits, he dislikes that one the most, if only because it makes his hands even more unsightly than they already are.

He looks back to Stan after a moment, his fingers curling as he hides his nails against his palms. "Bill - he's not from this plane of existence. He has no dominion in our world, which is why he needs pawns, people he can manipulate or outright possess in order to accomplish anything on our side."

A sigh works its way up from his lungs, and his shoulders deflate a bit. Somehow, he manages to resist the urge to feel the metal plate in his head just to make sure it's still there.

"You already know he made one of me, but what you don't know is how close I came to giving him exactly what he wanted."

He swallows, his eyes falling back to his hands. He's not sure when he uncurled his fingers and started picking at the lint on his sleeve, but boy howdy that sure is what he's doing.

"...I made a portal, Stan. I broke every known lawn of physics and tore a hole in the very fabric of reality so that monster could crawl through it. And he nearly did. If I didn't-- if we hadn't found out where that portal really lead, if I didn't listen to Fiddleford and shut the damn thing down, we'd all be--"

He trails off, his throat suddenly tight. He swallows a few times, blinks his eyes until they feel a little less wet, then clears his throat and tries again.

"...Who'd have thought just one mistake could end the entire world, huh?"
sixfingerednerd: (It's me Dip Dop)

[personal profile] sixfingerednerd 2016-06-10 04:49 pm (UTC)(link)
If it were anyone else telling him all of this, Ford probably wouldn't believe it. Which, you know, you'd think it would be the exact opposite considering Stan's predisposition towards bending the truth. A stranger would tell it to him straight without sugar coating things, right? Well, maybe. Maybe they would, maybe they wouldn't, but Ford doesn't really have to worry about that with Stan. He doesn't have to worry about his brother lying to him - he's never been able to. The guy could charm the pants off the pope if given half the chance, but he's never been able to work his magic on his own brother. Whether his conscience just gets to him, or Ford's just that good at reading him is up to debate.

The point is, when Stan tells him they've got a chance, that maybe things will work out in the end after all - well, Ford believes him. He believes him with all that he is because if he doesn't he might just start tearing up again, and Holy Moses he has done that enough for one lifetime, thank you.

Thankfully, before he can get all weepy and sentimental, Stan brings up an excellent point - the dream problem. And what a problem it is.

"Well, ah. About that." He begins haltingly, his hand moving up to rub awkwardly at the back of his neck, mindful not to get too close to the fresh wound at the base of his skull.

"Typically, you can only dream once you've entered the REM state, which means, theoretically, I should be fine so long as I don't sleep for more than ninety consecutive minutes at a time. Seventy, if we want to be careful."

He glances over at Stan, trying to see if he's noticed the very obvious hitch in this plan.

"The problem with that is, if you don't get any REM sleep whatsoever, you'll start hallucinating, having waking dreams - or you'll just pass out and stay out until you fall into REM sleep naturally."

He shrugs, trying to pass that little biology lesson off as a fun fact rather than the unfortunate reality of his situation.

"I'm fucked, basically."

He hardly ever swears - at least in front of polite company - but he hopes maybe Stan will get a kick out of him casually dropping the f-bomb like that. It's a small consolation in the face of such grim news, but, well, Ford's tired. It's the best he can do.
sixfingerednerd: (It's me Dip Dop)

[personal profile] sixfingerednerd 2016-07-16 04:33 am (UTC)(link)
"Stanley..." He sighs, his hand moving to rub at his eyes with a finger and thumb.

There's no way to say it gently, no way to tell Stanley that he's trapped between a rock and a hard place that won't put a worried, desperate look on his face. He doesn't want to tell Stan he's already exhausted all of his options. He doesn't want to dash his brother's hopes, make him feel as helpless as he does, but he doesn't have a choice. His options are to either tell the truth or lie to spare his brother's feelings, and considering how Ford feels about lies, liars, and being lied to - well, that sort of narrows things down, now doesn't it.

"It's fine." He grimaces, realizing how completely unconvincing that sounds. "I'll figure something out eventually. Until then, I'll manage."

He moves his arm a little, elbowing Stan gently in the side as he flashes a tired smile. "Don't worry about it, alright? I'm a Pines, we're built tough."

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